Church Matters

Episode 15: Bringing our Anger to God and culture matters

This month, we take a look into the concept of being angry at God, and Jim answers some matters around the culture of “shipping” and “stirring”.

To check out last episode’s questions click here, and for Jim’s foreword on answering these questions click here.

-

QUESTION 1.

ARE WE ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY AT GOD? WE ARE TOLD WE CAN BRING OUR SORROWS TO HIM, BUT IS GETTING ANGRY AT GOD IMPLYING THAT HE IS IN THE WRONG, WHICH IS NEVER THE CASE?

If the question was, “Is it good or right to be angry at God?”, the answer most certainly would be, “No.” As the question already included very wisely, that would imply accusing God of being “in the wrong, which is never the case.” However, in our limited knowledge and in our woefully imperfect state, we are quite familiar with the emotion of anger. Especially when we feel out of options, we often direct our anger against God whom we assume could have done something about the situation for which we find ourselves blaming Him. He is after all, sovereignly responsible for everything!

Interestingly enough, as a patient Heavenly Father, He does often allow it. The fact that we are quite often angry at God and the world still has not yet come to utter destruction is an obvious testimony to His patience. Especially in the Old Testament, the most frustrating and thankless job was that of being a prophet. Jonah was angry that God’s righteous anger did not burn against the Ninevites.   But in [Jonah 4] we find a great discourse on the topic of anger with God. Instead, the Ninevites gladly received Jonah’s prophecy and repented and received mercy and forgiveness of God. Jonah’s generation was not the time for their judgment. Later is another story. Later Zephaniah prophesied their destruction [Zeph.2:4-15]; and then the prophet Nahum describe their complete and final destruction.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Elijah, after defeating the prophets of Baal, fled from Jezebel who put a bounty on his head. He was also angry and dejected. But it is God’s patience and tenderness that restores him.

[James 1] is also clear about God’s innocence and sovereign wisdom.

Scriptural evidence shows that God does not invite you to be angry at Him. It is our lack of understanding of the fuller picture that unjustly directs anger and blame towards God of perfection and holiness. However, it is also abundantly clear, that He allows it for a time because He is gentle and merciful. But since it’s not good or right for us to stay in that anger towards Him, He also provides trust and faith for us to understand [Rom.8:28] and overcome [1Cor.10:13] eventually. In the end, we find greater resolution in the deeper and more profound faith based on the character of God.


QUESTION 2.

THE CULTURE OF '“STIRRING” OR “SHIPPING” IS SOMETHING THAT I HAVE FOUND QUITE PROMINENT IN CHURCHES (INCLUDING HCC) AND MINISTRIES. THIS CULTURE CAN BE EXTREMELY UNHELPFUL AND IN SOME CASES MAY DRIVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS AWAY FROM PLATONIC BONDING, SO HOW CAN WE AS A CHURCH AND INDIVIDUALS ADDRESS THIS?

This was a fun question. I wondered with a few others what “stirring” and “shipping” could possibly mean. From the context of the question, and gathering from several contributing opinions, I take it to mean “setting people up for dating and potential marriage.”

Well, you’re right. It does happen in churches, and it can be unhelpful—extremely even. And particularly negative is when heightened mode of these activities drive a wedge between godly, brotherly/sisterly “phileo” relationships. I do agree with you and grieve over this last thing in particular. So, how do we address this? Well, in a few eudaemonistic ways, like much of proverbs. Divine wisdom is needed for when and how we apply several related principles and understandings for maximum happy result. So, pray and seek the Spirit’s guidance as we consider the following.

Setting up young people and providing wisdom, insight, opinions both for and against certain unions is what happens in communities—in any society. After all, we don’t all live in individual islands. Church, where people gather, is a community; and HCC happens to have a lot of young singles. Community input, especially from godly Christian folks is, can be, a good thing. And yes, too much is too much. And yes, sometimes, even “collective wisdom” can get things wrong. But the record shows that sometimes we also get it right, by God’s grace!

“We are collectively responsibly for the culture around us.”

In a bigger picture, while some are annoyed by all the “stirring”, some might actually wonder why there is no stirring around them?? This is a delicate dance that started since the very beginning.

We are collectively responsible for the culture around us. But also, we are not helpless victims. We can speak into it, as well as stand up to it graciously. Sometimes, it’s great fun to consider the exciting prospects; but sometimes we just need to say ‘no’ and ‘not now’ and ‘not for awhile’. At any given point, what you think and feel may not be the same as everybody else’s. If it were, then shifting the collective culture would be a swift process. Because every individual is on a different schedule, one mode does not rule fair for everyone. You individually have a choice and can make a difference. 

Sometimes we just need to say, “Let’s just enjoy the godly fellowship of all people regardless of gender, age, and other differences. Let’s celebrate the common union in Christ!” And sometimes we don’t need to say anything at all, and just do it. But sometimes, it’s okay to “stir” as the Spirit leads, as long as the intention is honorable before God, that it isn’t to stir trouble or to get your nose where it does not belong.

-

(Questions presented on this page have been edited for length and clarity.)

If you have ever wondered about topics such as these, are curious about the how’s and why’s of Christianity or have any other questions in general ask Pastor Jim anything here.

Episode 12: Preparing Our Hearts for Spiritual Growth and Marriage

In case you missed it, Ask Pastor Jim Anything episodes will now be released on a monthly basis. In this episode, we’ll be assessing the criteria for spiritual growth, as well as assessing when we feel we are ready to date and get married.

To check out last episode’s questions click here, and for Jim’s foreword on answering these questions click here.

-

QUESTION 1.

WHAT IS THE CRITERIA TO ASSESS SPIRITUAL GROWTH? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT GROWING?

For such a “big picture” question, it’s helpful to consider Prof. John Frame’s “tri-perspectivalistic” approach. You can read much more about it in his books The Doctrine of the Knowledge of God and his Systematic Theology. Now to answer your question simply, there are three areas to “triangulate” and focus upon: theology, doxology and practice. Consider these a “three-legged stool” where the strength and the benefit of each are derived from the support of the other two.

First is theology. But this is not necessarily academic or institutional knowledge. It’s not about having thick books in your library or paying for expensive degrees and certificates. It’s about knowing God’s Word, the Scriptures, and yes, other books and studying anything to aid your knowledge of God’s Word can be helpful.  Knowing God and His Word is organic and systematic, just like getting to know another person. Over time we expect to grow relationally, but even in terms of actual quantifiable knowledge bits, as information, facts and data, you do amass them over the same time. According to God’s own revelation [Deut.29:29], it is impossible to grow in relationship with God apart from knowing Him according to His given Word of Scriptures, which we now have in the form of the Bible.

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.

Deuteronomy 29:29 (ESV)

But they are 66 distinct books compiled over thousands of years from various situations and perspectives, all in order to give us a singular message in multi-dimensional, technicolor tour de force. So, my question is, do you know God’s Word? How robustly are you progressing in your knowledge? Consider all these areas:

  • Narratives (who, when, where, what, how),

  • Systematic theology (topical and doctrinal categories),

  • Biblical theology (organic progression of redemptive history), and

  • Historical theology (progression of all these knowledge and their works by church and human teachers and authors).

This knowledge of God’s Word forms your “normative” by which all other things stand. And no matter how much we dig to mine the riches of His Word, we will discover that we are less than moles before Mt. Everest. 

Practical advice: Read the Bible. And read anything that can help you understand the Bible.

Second is doxology, which is in essence your heart of worship, because to know God is to worship Him and love Him. Without these, even the most informed scholars are empty of true knowledge of God. On the other hand, if someone claims to love God and feel ecstatic about Him, but do not know much about His Word, then all those feelings and outer fussing are empty of substance, like a “dog and pony show” instead of a real circus with elephants, lions and tigers! The worship of God is not simply how we feel about God. It is so much more. In fact, such desire for personal inspiration and positive uplifting spirit is the last thing on your mind when you truly know God. The knowledge of the Holy causes you to think of yourself last and the least. When the subject of theology becomes the object of worship, you simply fall prostrate and worship in holy reverence and inexplicable joy. However, our God of the Bible is also gentle and intimate and personal. He walks us through life as we worship Him. Our worship is not limited in some temple or certain time [1Cor.10:31; Col.2:16].

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

Worship is all encompassing. It is corporate and personal. Worship empowers life within us and give us love and courage and purpose beyond our own means. Worship melts away all problems and frustrations, and sets our heart on eternal and heavenly matters. Worship walks us through martyrdom, and allow us to face earthly jeers and persecution. Worship sets our hearts on the singular object of our love, our Saviour and Lord, the husband of the church. Worship is the natural response of knowing God for a converted soul. 

Practical advice: Pick up a copy of “The Valley of Vision” (ed. Arthur Bennett) to learn how to pray and meditate as a Christian. And never compromise your Sabbath (not legally speaking).

Third and lastly, the practice of God’s Word is in essence applying what we know of God and His will “on earth as it is in heaven” [Matt.6:10]. How do we fulfill His commands and purpose in this life through the medium of our own lives? Certain applicational matters are simply given to us in forms of commands and instructions, but to wisely prioritise and balance all applicational objectives take lifetime to learn. But the goal is not to master various applications, but to simply obey the Lord! Like theology and doxology (worship), even the application ought to be entirely God-centered. If our ministry is simply to serve others or to receive approvals and commendations from others to fulfill our own emotional needs, we will soon burn-out or easily become misdirected. Our ministry is for God and by God as we become His own bodily instruments. Christ is our Head and we are His body [Eph.5:23; 1Cor.12:27-31; Eph.4:11-16]. Therefore, the believers ought to coordinate together our services as a visible church.

If our ministry is simply to serve others or to receive approvals and commendations from others to fulfill our own emotional needs, we will soon burn-out or easily become misdirected.

But also, everything we do outside the church, our work in the marketplace and our family life, and even when we are entirely alone where no one is watching, we minister unto Him who is our One Audience. When we are captive to our Lord, there is not one place in our lives that we can claim as exclusively ours and not surrendered to Him. So, no matter how long or how much you think you served God, if it was indeed for Him, it is impossible to say enough. This is not “high and lofty knowledge”. It is basic Lordship servitude for one whose life has been redeemed from Hell to Glory.

Practice advice: Submit to your church and serve with others. Continue the God-ward ministry wherever you go (work, home, alone, etc.)

To sum, if you’re progressing well in the above three areas, you are growing well spiritually. As you can see, each area can have myriads of creative applicational avenues, but those are the basic frameworks, the basic foundational ideas that you can use to pursue theology, doxology and practice of Christian maturity. 

If you want to read more about Prof. Frame’s triperspectivalism, you can get a taste of it in his short primer article here.

QUESTION 2.

I OFTEN GET ADVICE WITHIN CHRISTIAN CIRCLES TO ‘ONLY START DATING WHEN YOU ARE READY TO GET MARRIED’. HOWEVER, THERE ARE A LOT OF GREY AREAS TO NAVIGATE. CAN YOU GIVE SOME INDICATORS ARE THE BEST WAY TO DISCERN?

I agree with that advice. But to qualify my agreement, I have to specify what I mean by “ready to be married.” Does it mean having all the financial means for the wedding, honeymoon location picked out, and having set up a home for your newly married life?  Does it mean to know the other person so completely as to be able to say “yes” if the proposal happened the next minute? Having the dress and the songs picked out? Obviously not. Or perhaps that wasn’t so obvious to you. ;)

The true readiness has to do with the right understanding of marriage and dating for the purpose of marriage. In other words, you need to start with the end in mind. But you can’t start if you don’t know what that “end game” looks like. Also, by this “end” I don’t mean a fixed demand of a certain external outcome. I mean the principles that will serve as a lasting bedrock for your marriage. What are those things? I’ll just mention (3) things.

One. You need to understand that marriage was and is God’s original idea. It is a part of God’s creation ordinance for human flourishing, to establish family and society. Much of God’s good design and intent is now defaced by sin and rebellious ideas that violate this gift. But you must insist on God’s way; and not be persuaded in any other way. Marriage is between one man and one woman! This would naturally disqualify all other so-called relationships.

Two. You need to understand that while there are all kinds of marriages out there, including Christians who become entangled in very un-Christian relationships, a true Christian marriage is between two committed Christians who dedicate their relationship and lives entirely to Christ. Just because “church-goers” marry, that doesn’t mean they will have a Christian marriage. It takes conscious coordination of two disciples of Jesus to make a Christian marriage.

Three. You need to understand that mature people make good marriages. Maturity also means selfless and responsible character, and not prone to demands and temperamental fits. Mature people have a strong sense of direction in life, a vision if you will (at least in principle if not specific paths). But these character traits cannot be detected from across the room, or overnight. Handsome/pretty face and hot body do not tell you who is “ready” for the demanding journey in life-partnership. You must be willing to patiently do your research before jumping in. More importantly, you must be willing to be that person for your future mate. These all take patience to acquire. And patience requires time and LOTS of prayer.

So there. If you can discern these three things, if you know your “end-game,” you are ready to date for marriage!

I also recommend reading Tim & Kathy Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”. This is must-read for my premarital counselling couples.

-

(Questions have been edited for length and clarity.)

If you have ever wondered about topics such as these, are curious about the how’s and why’s of Christianity or have any other questions in general ask Pastor Jim anything here.

Episode 7: Profound Love & Profound Books

Thanks for sending through your questions. This week, we’ll be looking at how to love those who may not reciprocate, and Pastor Jim dives into a few of his favourite Christian reads.

To check out last episode’s questions click here, and for Jim’s foreword on answering these questions click here.

-

QUESTION 1.

I KNOW WE OFTEN TALK ABOUT LOVING BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO I DON’T WANT TO LOVE, BUT HOW DO I LOVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO DON’T LOVE ME?

Jesus came to His own, yet His own did not recognize Him [John 1:10-11].  He first loved us while we were still sinners and enemies of God, and didn’t love Him back [Rom.5:8].  Apart from following Christ’s example, and sourcing His love, it would be impossible to love someone who do not reciprocate our love.  This sort of unconditional love is most wonderfully and commonly displayed by parents toward their children, but even they are not perfect.  Only Jesus perfectly loved His enemies.

Having said the above, the practicality of “loving someone” is often misunderstood as good times and fuzzy feelings, when in reality, the more profound love can be expressed through patience, kindness, respect and grace.  “Loving your brothers and sisters” do not necessarily mean expecting to be best friends with every member of the church.  There will always be varying degree of connection with various members of the church, but no matter how close or distant, we can always practice love and grace of Christ.

QUESTION 2.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVOURITE CHRISTIAN BOOKS AND AUTHORS?

This is a hard question for a pastor who lives with many books and authors.  Some are important works for understanding theology because of their contribution to development of our understanding of God and Scriptures.  Others are valued for their effectiveness to communicate, both stylistically and for practicality.  It’s also difficult to divide strictly between these lines.  However, for the purpose of brevity, and serving the introductory nature of this list, I will keep the list fairly short.

These are some names of Christian authors with which you really can’t go too wrong, and their representative works:

  • R. C. Sproul (The Holiness of God,  Knowing Scripture,  Chosen by God)

  • J. I. Packer (Knowing God,  A Quest for Godliness,  Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God)

  • C. S. Lewis (Mere Christianity,  Chronicles of Narnia,  The Screwtape Letters,  Surprised by Joy,  Etc)

  • Michael Horton (Putting Amazing Back into Grace,  Introducing Covenant Theology,  Christless Christianity)

  • Timothy Keller (The Reason for God, The Meaning of Marriage, The Prodigal God,  Counterfeit Gods,  Every Good Endeavour, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness,  Etc. etc. all)

  • Jerry Bridges (Pursuit of Holiness, Transforming Grace)

  • Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest)

These are some books not written by the above authors that you should pick up to read, because they are either classics or important today:

  • St. Augustine (Confession,  City of God)

  • John Bunyan (Pilgrim’s Progress,  Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners)

  • Prayer book edited by Arthur Bennett (The Valley of Vision)

  • The Institute of Christian Religion (John Calvin)

-

If you have ever wondered about topics such as these, are curious about the how’s and why’s of Christianity or have any other questions in general ask Pastor Jim anything here.

Episode 3: Exploring church matters in marriage and salvation

In this week’s episode, we’ll start to dive into more difficult matters surrounding the church. If you would like to learn more about these answers, or have any follow-up questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

To check out last episode’s questions click here, and for Jim’s foreword on answering these questions click here.

-

Question 1.

Why do churches idolise ‘Marriage’ so much? In our Christian culture, we elevate marriage all the time. This also happens at our church and there’s been many cases where I’ve witnessed this.

This is a bit heavy-handed.  While the charge may be true since even our righteousness is tinged with sin on this side of eternity [Isa.64:6], to label “idolatry” on another beside ourselves is… a bit harsh.

Having said this, I do recognize the need to be sensitive when we celebrate and esteem even good things, because it may be a pressure point for others.  But also, we need to learn to rejoice with others for the blessings they have in Christ, even if it is not the same blessings as bestowed on us.  We need to share in the sorrows and the joys of others.

As for marriage itself, apart from those who are gifted with celibacy [1Cor.7:8-9], marriage and family-formation is the biblical/creation normative.  In fact, we are commanded to pursue this creation order [Gen.1:28] even after the Fall, all things being equal.  But by “pursuing”, I mean waiting on God’s timing, and being open to it as “normal/usual” expectation unless, as mentioned before, we sense God’s extraordinary gift of celibacy which is “long-term functional contentment”, which is not the same as situational singleness.  As non-celibacy-gifted individuals, we must manage our singleness well as part of our individual sanctification, which is to walk with Jesus each day with joy and contentment.

Also, we must observe that today’s society does not esteem marriage very much.  By this, I do not mean mere companionship, but everything that comes with marriage, such as parenting and the institution of family as social fabric.  Today, the popular and secular views on marriage is reduced to mere paper contract or glorified coupling, while families struggle to stay intact, and in many places the birth rate is lower than replacement rate.  I may go so far as to say that we don’t talk about and esteem marriage enough!

As for messages for and focus on the singles at our church, you may consider all things not explicitly addressing marriage and couples as messages for singles and individuals.  The topic does not have to be on “singleness” per se, to be a message for individual sanctification.  In fact, even the messages on marriages and couples are not simply about them at face value, but ultimately about Christ and the church, so they are still relevant for the sanctification of individual Christians.

For a young church of mostly singles, I believe we have consciously tried not to overly focus on the topics immediately relevant to our unique demographics, and mostly succeeded.  But I’m more than willing to hear out how we can improve; and even more to hear out how you’ve been personally affected.

Question 2.

Are Catholics considered Christians?

By their own label, and at a face-value, um… yes, kind of…. I prefer first to say “Yes,” but then add a caveat.

The “Protestants” broke away from the Roman Catholic church in the 16th Century precisely because the Roman church required “works-based salvation.”  The Reformers were absolutely convinced from the Scriptures that a man was saved by grace, and not by works [Eph.2:8-9; Rom.3:28; Gal.2:16, 3:11, 5:4].  This is a huge-difference, one that directly affects salvation/justification.  And it is not that the Protestants left the Catholic church; but that their leadership excommunicated those who saw differently and would not recant.  

Unfortunately, these differences remain even today.  The official doctrine of the Roman Catholic church (specifically in the documents drafted and reiterated in Trent and Vatican) still remain that one is saved by faith AND works, and not faith alone through grace.  Technically speaking, this is a big difference.  It raises the question of the sufficiency of Christ’s works and death on the cross.  If somehow on top of Christ’s works, we must add ours to be saved, how much is enough?  Won’t even our best works be impaired by sins and flaw?  

Fortunately, not all Catholics these days, or ever, are very aware of the official Catholic doctrines.  Some of them simply and truly rely on the grace of God through His Son, Jesus Christ.  For these, and minus many other man-made traditions that accumulated through the middle-ages (such as saint-veneration, purgatory, 7 sacraments, priestly absolution, etc.), I would like to hope for the best in their simple-faith in Jesus.

On the other hand, even for the Protestant evangelical Christians, many are not very clear about the doctrine of salvation.  “Woe” to them as individuals.  But they should be taught the right gospel out of the Scriptures week-in and week-out.

-

If you have ever wondered about topics such as these, are curious about the how’s and why’s of Christianity or have any other questions in general ask Pastor Jim anything here.